Reflections from an Institute Graduate, Part 2

Here is part 2 in our three part series from LeaderShaper Storm Tyler. Missed the first one? You can find it here! Be sure to check it out before reading on…

Due to my transformative experience as a participant at the Institute, I desired to be a Cluster Facilitator, facilitating the next generation of global leaders who would “lead with integrity and have a healthy disregard for the impossible.” Although pumped and well trained, feelings of self-inadequacy and imposter syndrome evolved. I became increasingly anxious I wouldn’t be sufficient for my family cluster and that the students would be deprived of the experience that previously altered my life in such a positive way. The night prior to Day One, I was ill and restless but managed to notate “I am terrified…but will arrive and rise regardless” in my journal. Despite the anxiety, remembering my most favorite aspect of the program – establishing meaningful relationships and witnessing my inspired peers feel unlimited in the pursuit of their dreams – and repeating “I was more than the things I tell myself about myself” was enough for me to trust this process.

TXST '16 LeaderShape

Yet, throughout the beginning of the week I awkwardly navigated the space between participant and facilitator. Hesitant to speak, as I was afraid I’d reveal too many details regarding the simulations or take away from the student’s experience, I found myself highly attentive yet quiet during family cluster time. I struggled to find my voice and was frustrated for not rising to the expectations I had for myself; however, I listened and learned to ensure my presence would be enduring. It was my mission to utilize all of my power, resources, and network to assist my D-DUBS (aka Diverse Warriors!) and all students in cultivating their visions. I understood I could do this, if I once again trusted this process. Day-by-day, I emerged and realized my leadership facilitation manifested via one of my top strengths – developer. These students could grow from me even if it was solely from me providing a listening ear to their “crazy dreams”, via the resources from my sticky notes, or by assuring them that they can live the life they’ve always wanted, just as they are.

I was enough…I am enough.

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